Pilfering Silverware
by Mizugameza-san
Summary: Mystery Men - Tis a fic about Blue Raja! But Bowler and Mr. Furious are in here a bit too! ^-^ R&R!


"Pilfering Silverware"  
  
by Sempai  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Nup. Don't own Mystery Men. Got an idea from it though. ^^ *twirls a fork on her finger!* Just call me the Aqua Raja! =3  
  
  
  
Blue Raja waded through the crowd of reporters, trying to avoid being behind Spleen, as the super hero team walked away from the remains of Casanova Frankenstein's mansion. "I do say! Me being a super hero and all, the press should be more polite!" he said, avoiding the mics being thrust in his face.  
  
"DUCK!" came a yell, just as a blur of pink zoomed through the crowd, crushing many of the microphones. "DAD! That's it! You're having a time- out, in the bag!" The Bowler shouted, growling as she jumped up to capture the haunted bowling ball in its bag. "That is no way to act! We saved the world and -you- fly around destroying press property! Do you -want- to stay in the bag?! I could just hock you at the closest pawn shop if -that's- what you want!!" she was yelling into the bag, before zipping it shut with a muttered curse to the late Tony P. and Carmine the Bowler.  
  
"I must say, your…father, certainly has a bit of spunk, eh?" Blue Raja smiled, jogging up to Bowler, holding down his turban all the while. Bowler rolled her eyes and flung the bag over her shoulder, "Just a major attitude problem, with a hint of mental illness," she blew a few wisps of green hair from her face.  
  
"Yes yes, parents can be such a fright sometimes, but I admit I do find moments to enjoy!" Bowler grinned, "I know what you mean. I really enjoyed the moment my dad realized I'd put him in a -pink- bowling ball," she said with a smirk. The bag began to shake in protest before she gave it a good jolt, "Pawn shop, Dad!!! And I could really use the cash!" She winked at Blue Raja as the bag ceased its shaking, "It's all in the tone of voice."  
  
Blue Raja gulped, "Quite right, milady." He walked with her over to where Mr. Furious was getting some well-deserved medical attention with his new girlfriend at his side. "How ya doin' there, wimp?" Bowler grinned, clapping his shoulder rather roughly. Roy shook his head, "Not any better now that you're here…," he said, rotating his injured shoulder. "Well that's gratitude for ya! I save your ass, and I get the respect of a super villain!" she glared at him. Blue Raja had long since covered his mouth, trying to conceal his amusement at the two.  
  
"Jeeffreeeyyy!!! Jeffrey!!" The three super heroes looked up at the yelling, seeing an aged woman in a housecoat running to them. "Jeffrey!" she yelled, hugging him so hard he was gasping for air, "I saw you on TV, and-oh! What happened to you? You're hurt aren't you?!" She was looking him over and pulling at his clothes frantically. Blue Raja lost concentration on his fake British accent at his mother's ministrations. "Mom! I'm not hurt! I'm not!" "Jeffrey, don't you lie to your mother." "I'm not! I'm fine! A few bent forks, but that's it!"  
  
Bowler groaned and pulled the bag down, unzipping the top, "No, Dad, his -mother- isn't a fruitcake -either-! You are so rude, interrupting a family like that! I think I should just…" Her chastising of her father's soul dwindled as she walked away from her friends.  
  
It was then that Blue Raja's mother noticed Mr. Furious sitting at the back of an ambulance. "Roy! What on Earth happened to you?! I'm going to call your mother as -soon- as Jeffrey and I get home!"  
  
She looped her arm through her son's after brushing his cape aside, "Come on, Jeffrey, we need to get you home and cleaned up before the reporter people are all over our doorstep." Blue Raja sighed and let his mother lead him away from the growing crowd at the gates to the Frankenstein estate.  
  
~*~  
  
It had been a month since the defeat of Casanova Frankenstein at the hands of Champion City's newest super team. Three weeks since Lance Hunt/Captain Amazing had been officially declared dead, the latter's memorial not gaining much of an audience. Two weeks since fanmail began arriving at the homes of the now famous and revered super heroes. One week since Bowler had decided the name of their team, The Mystery Men, with no opposition of course after Carmine had gotten loose from the bag again.  
  
Jeffrey, the Blue Raja, sat polishing a drawer of forks when his bedroom door creaked open. "Mom? I promise I didn't take any silverware this time!"  
  
The door opened completely, and she stepped into the room with a big package in her arms. "No no, Jeffrey! I just wanted to give you a little gift," she smiled, setting the bright blue, green ribbon-ed gift on one of the pillows on the floor. She stepped over the incense holders and sat down on another pillow next to her son.  
  
"Awh, Mom, you really didn't have to do this," he said picking up the package, giving it a shake. She gave him a little look then cleared her throat, a hopeful look now on her face. "Oh!" he cleared his throat, "Well, Mum, it really is a grand idea but completely unnecessary!" Jeffrey stated in his super hero accent. His mother never looked happier, that voice always amused her for some reason.  
  
"Well…open it, Jeffrey," she smiled. Jeffrey grinned like a little kid, ripping into the wrapping paper, sending it flying. "Oh, Mom! You really didn't have to do this!" he said as he pulled out an almost exact replica of his turban, cape, and outfit.  
  
"I just thought since you're going to be fighting crime all the time now, you shouldn't have to go around with just that one ragged set of clothes. So I invited some of the ladies over, and we all made a few extra sets for you," she said, waving a stream of smoke from her face. Jeffrey moved the incense away from his mother, "Thanks, Mom," he said, giving her a hug. She gave him the look again. "Thank you very much, Mum!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Ow!!!" Blue Raja nearly fell over after colliding with the dining room chair. He'd debated on turning on the lights in the house, but it would wake up his mother this wee hour in the morning. He clutched his knee as he limped over to the cabinets, opening the silverware drawer.  
  
"What the…?" There was a rectangle box lying on top of the silver ware with 'To: Blue Raja' and 'From: Mummy' written on the top. He pulled the package out and set it on the counter before pulling the top off. Inside was a complete set of forks, salad forks, shrimp forks, dinner forks, and others. His eyes had gone wide, and he pulled out one of the forks for inspection.  
  
Blue Raja did a few test flings which resulted in the death of a few of his mother's porcelain figures. He replaced the forks and was closing the box when he noticed the note on the inside of the lid. He pulled it off and unfolded it…  
  
'Jeffrey, have you ever considered using knives?'  
  
Blue Raja moaned, "Moo~oom!" 


End file.
